Monday, February 25, 2008

We're Live, People!!!

Dear Internet,
Holy moly! I assume you all saw the fireworks on last week's episode—shocking! And believe me, as far as the contestant who got eliminated, I was just as surprised as you that she or he had to go home! I felt an awful lot like Cate Blanchett in Elizabeth, to be perfectly honest!!

In any event: here is the most recent episode, courtesy of the WayToGo Network. Enjoy!



Also—and this is Andy-Warhol-Back-From-the-Dead-as-a-Zombie Exciting!—you can now buy Arts and Crafts Pro Officially Licensed Wearable Advertising, courtesy of the WayToGo Network! WOWZOO!


Imagine your torso in that!
Wait—— YOU DON'T HAVE TO!!
Isn't technology great?!


(I chose the Spaghetti Strap Tank because I'm told I have great shoulders!)

Anyway, visit http://acp.spreadshirt.com/ to get your own!

That's all for now, arts and crafters—but stay tuned. In arts and crafts, things don't always turn out pretty.

Your BFFF (the 'F' is for 'Fabulous!'),
-Raymond Glove

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Prepare to Get Crafty!!

Hi again, arts and crafters! I must proffer my profuse apologies for the painful paucity of posts at this place (Wow! I haven't spat out a mouthful like that since that Boy George concert in Berlin!). As I'm sure you know, season 2 of Arts & Crafts Pro is airing as we speak, and the season is winding down!

I've got a meet 'n greet 'n wine 'n dine 'n walk 'n talk 'n chat 'n splat with good friend and renowned crafter Tom DeNeedler tomorrow, so I've gotta go stock up on finger-paint and ambergris. Below is a preview for next week episode, complete with info on a special screening at Columbia University, home to one of the country's leading arts and crafts programs! Maybe I'll even drop by myself!

Until then—toodle-doo, buckaroos!

-Raymond Glove



Episode VII: I'm Not Here to Make Friends
As the second season winds down, the competition continues to heat up! The Arts and Crafters are still reeling from Tristan's sudden departure last week, but there's no time to mope—Ray's back with another challenge... and this time, there's a twist! Arts and crafts makes strange bedfellows, and you'll literally explode with surprise when you see who gets paired up for this week's thrilling mission!

Also, be sure to check out this week's episode at its live premiere Tuesday, January 22nd!
Details: Tuesday, January 22nd at 8:45PM.
Wood Auditorium (Room 113, all the way downstairs), Avery Hall, Columbia University
http://www.columbia.edu/about_columbia/map/avery.html
Columbia is accessible via the 1 Train, 116th St. stop.

Monday, September 3, 2007

Pushing the evelope—into the toilet!!

Dear Internet,
I got a new key-board! I've also been doing a little research so I can bring you an update on the "cutting edge" of the arts and crafts scene—or at least what passes for arts and crafts these days!

Some people might call me a cynic, Internet, but I don't think that's the case. I'm just saying that there was a time—post-Warhol and pre-Seldonby—during which arts and crafts flourished, and now that time seems to be gone. I'll grant you that this wasn't an ideal timeframe in which to be making art; I was on more drugs than a cancer patient with a heroin addiction and a field of "ganja" growing in the back yard! But that's another story for another time!!

Regardless, I find myself disappointed with the state of arts and crafts these days. That's why I'm starting a series of reviews for this blog:

ARTS AND BLECHS

You know: blech! The noise you make when something is stuck in the back of your throat and makes you want to spill your Dean and Deluca flax seed muffins all over the shag carpet!

Today I'll be examining Reynold Ellipsis' installation piece Bring Them Home, currently based in the Louvre.

I've known Reynold for a long time, and although I'm a fan of her early work, her latest creations leave something to be desired—QUALITY!! I've seen this kind of socio-political hogwash before, and let me tell you, it's tired. Need I remind anyone of Tommy Velderama's 2002 show at the Tate Modern, Harmony Ex Harmonitasimus? I didn't think so!!

We are harmonious despite our colors

Did somebody say "rip-off"? That's right, I DID!! As if it weren't a cardinal sin to be stealing material from another arts and crafter (and it is!!), Ellipsis shows her age by trying to shock her audience with surrealist imagery, reminiscent of the early arts and crafts work of Dalí but lacking any real imagination or perspective:

Yaks!!! With all the salivas on my fur, where can I find a body wash in this Martian home

Blech is right!! I hardly know where to begin. The use of color is truly horrifying—there's craft here, but no art! It's like watching a train wreck, but also it's like watching Princess Diana's car crash! It's like watching a train full of Princess Dianas crash into a limousine also somehow containing Princess Diana!! On top of the Hindenburg!! At least it can't get any worse—OR CAN IT??

YES IT CAN, INTERNET.

Last night, I felt like a chicken inside my home, oh my dog, I didn't know today is EASTER SUNDAY!

Holy cow!! I think I need a stiff drink, Internet—OR TWELVE!! I hope I haven't scared you all off with the perversity of today's post—if the rampant commercialism in that last picture didn't turn your stomach, I'm sure the painfully obvious Fruedian undertones did. Don't blame me—I'm just the critic!!

Speaking of blame (and me), the WayToGo Network has informed me that some miscreants have put the
Arts and Crafts Pro theme song on something called UTubes. I guess this is copyright infringement? They told me to tell you that you absolutely shouldn't click right here to view the video. So watch out for that, Internet!!

Still reeling,
-Raymond Glove

Friday, August 31, 2007

Let's get crafty!

Hello, Internet!

Gosh, this is awfully exciting! When teh the WayToGo Network asked me to start a blog, I said "What's that?!" Jeez Louise, was I surprissed! Unfrotunte Unfortunnal Unfortunately the delete key on this office computer they gave me is borken so you will just have to bera bear with me!!

What will go on this blog, you ask? Well I'm not sure! I'll try to share some of my years of experience with you, Internet, from the gay days of my youth in the mid-west to the VERY gay days of my adulthood as a jet-setting arts and crafts celebrutante! And of course I'll be posting information on season 2 of Arts and Crafts Pro—as much information as WayToGo TV will let me divulge, that is!! And who knows, maybe I'll even share a personal story or two, since I lost my real dairy dari diiar diary in June while visiting Bertrand Töpfe in Quebec City, Quebec!

I'd better go, Internet—beffor before these heart palpitations of excitement get any worse!!

Fondly,
-Raymond Glove