Pushing the evelope—into the toilet!!

Dear Internet,
I got a new key-board! I've also been doing a little research so I can bring you an update on the "cutting edge" of the arts and crafts scene—or at least what passes for arts and crafts these days!

Some people might call me a cynic, Internet, but I don't think that's the case. I'm just saying that there was a time—post-Warhol and pre-Seldonby—during which arts and crafts flourished, and now that time seems to be gone. I'll grant you that this wasn't an ideal timeframe in which to be making art; I was on more drugs than a cancer patient with a heroin addiction and a field of "ganja" growing in the back yard! But that's another story for another time!!

Regardless, I find myself disappointed with the state of arts and crafts these days. That's why I'm starting a series of reviews for this blog:

ARTS AND BLECHS

You know: blech! The noise you make when something is stuck in the back of your throat and makes you want to spill your Dean and Deluca flax seed muffins all over the shag carpet!

Today I'll be examining Reynold Ellipsis' installation piece Bring Them Home, currently based in the Louvre.

I've known Reynold for a long time, and although I'm a fan of her early work, her latest creations leave something to be desired—QUALITY!! I've seen this kind of socio-political hogwash before, and let me tell you, it's tired. Need I remind anyone of Tommy Velderama's 2002 show at the Tate Modern, Harmony Ex Harmonitasimus? I didn't think so!!

We are harmonious despite our colors

Did somebody say "rip-off"? That's right, I DID!! As if it weren't a cardinal sin to be stealing material from another arts and crafter (and it is!!), Ellipsis shows her age by trying to shock her audience with surrealist imagery, reminiscent of the early arts and crafts work of Dalí but lacking any real imagination or perspective:

Yaks!!! With all the salivas on my fur, where can I find a body wash in this Martian home

Blech is right!! I hardly know where to begin. The use of color is truly horrifying—there's craft here, but no art! It's like watching a train wreck, but also it's like watching Princess Diana's car crash! It's like watching a train full of Princess Dianas crash into a limousine also somehow containing Princess Diana!! On top of the Hindenburg!! At least it can't get any worse—OR CAN IT??

YES IT CAN, INTERNET.

Last night, I felt like a chicken inside my home, oh my dog, I didn't know today is EASTER SUNDAY!

Holy cow!! I think I need a stiff drink, Internet—OR TWELVE!! I hope I haven't scared you all off with the perversity of today's post—if the rampant commercialism in that last picture didn't turn your stomach, I'm sure the painfully obvious Fruedian undertones did. Don't blame me—I'm just the critic!!

Speaking of blame (and me), the WayToGo Network has informed me that some miscreants have put the Arts and Crafts Pro theme song on something called UTubes. I guess this is copyright infringement? They told me to tell you that you absolutely shouldn't click right here to view the video. So watch out for that, Internet!!

Still reeling,
-Raymond Glove